Sunday Morning Meditation

This morning I felt the need to be very quiet and meditate - to shut the world out for a few minutes and reflect upon my life - how I want to show up in the world, what's lurking beneath my surface, to center into who I want to be and how I want my life to unfold. The past few years brought endless uncertainty - so many questions, so much confusion. I felt unbalanced, unsure, lost and confused....and yet, I held onto a belief in my future. I held tightly to the right of my decision to question everything, including all I had ever "known." I focused on rising from the rubble of grief, the chamber of chaos, the trials and tribulations of life-changing decisions, and an emptiness that seemed to have no end. It was like traveling a dark well with no end, no bottom.

Cracks in the weathered walls allowed light to seep in along the way. I cherished those moments of awareness, and held on for dear life. Eternal grief was led by eternal Light. I believe those slivers of Light saved me. That and the unconditional, sincere, and constant love and guidance of others who gently loved me through it. Those glimmers of light served to inspire me to continue forward, to grab hold and to embrace the unknowing. Honestly, I had never felt so "lost," so uncertain of who I was or wanted to be.

Embracing the unknowing takes courage. We are encouraged to not ask why. To be certain, to believe without question. I believe God is larger than that. I believe he wants us to stretch through uncertainty, our disbelief, and our bigger than life questions. It is in the uncertainty that we explore and find the treasures of life least expected. It's where grace resides - in the quiet moments of surrender and the loud thunder of demand.

Today I reflect upon the placing of one foot in front of the other, walking the wicked terrain of uncertainty. Losing my balance many times along the way, questioning my direction at every turn. Resting in the obscure footing to regain strength in order to carry on....and move forward. Not leaving anything "behind," rather simply carrying it all with me with gentle, yet profound, grace and wisdom. And with a thirst to live my absolute best life.

I embrace the reflection of mercy and strength, that of others and my own; the gifts of resilience, fortitude, courage and inspiration. All laid out before me to help guide, transform and encourage me to take the next step into the abyss. The warm embrace of the Universe to strengthen and guide me - the welcome embrace of my most authentic self, unfolding into a life well lived because of my experiences, not in spite of them.

I praise and thank my Creator for the gift of unknowing, the beauty of disbelief, the promise of a fruitful future, the love and strength of others to help guide me to my most authentic self, and the Grace and Mercy to find my way....once again, to living life fully, with abundant love, joy and peace, and to lift others into their promise along the way.

Blessings to you this beautiful Sunday.