The Beautiful Ugly Cry

Some weeks don’t just feel heavy. They feel jolting.

This past week has been one of those weeks for me. I've experienced the weight of our broken world, some health issues I wasn't expecting but must face, and the impact of a fall on ice that just made everything worse. And that's just a few highlights. It doesn't include the "little" things that fall to the bottom of the pile but add significantly to the heap. It's been one of those months the last few days. I won’t pretend I haven't felt overwhelmed. I have.

A couple of mornings I found myself deep into an ugly cry - not because I’m falling apart, but because my body needed to release what my mind couldn’t carry all at once.

And I want to say this clearly: that ugly cry is not failure. It’s not weakness. It’s not a breakdown.

It’s a release valve. It’s the nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do when the weight gets too heavy to hold inside.

Sometimes what we call “weakness” is simply a nervous system that has been asked to hold too much.

When life hits hard, our bodies respond before we can make sense of it. We feel anxious. We feel tired. We feel foggy. We feel like retreating. And sometimes we judge ourselves for it. But maybe retreat isn’t failure. Maybe it’s wisdom.

This is what I’m learning in real time: when you’re walking through hard things, you don’t need more pressure… you need more gentleness. So, today, I’m choosing to do what I often encourage others to do:

• Drink more water

• Eat real food

• Turn down the noise

• Move gently

• Take deep breaths

• Cry if I need to

• Pray simple prayers like, “God, hold me.”

• Rest

  
  

Because healing doesn’t always come through force.

Sometimes it comes through softness.

Sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is not push forward, but pause… and let yourself be held.

My friend, if you’re carrying something heavy today - grief, fear, uncertainty, exhaustion - I want you to hear this:

You don’t have to be strong in the way the world defines strength.

Let today be softer. Let yourself breathe. Let your nervous system settle.

And if all you can do today is show yourself a little grace and keep going one small step at a time… then you are doing sacred work. Be gentle with yourself.

Namaste.