With Love, Me.

I didn’t always understand what self-love really meant.

For most of my life, I thought love was something you earned - through productivity, through proving, through showing

up for everyone else first. I thought love was something that came from the outside in. From relationships. From validation. From being chosen. After all, that's what I was taught as a child being raised by a narcissistic mother. I believed I had to earn love. It wasn't until Jon and I met that either of us understood true, unconditional love - for one another....and ourselves.

I've learned that love - real love - starts within.

And I’ll be honest… I’ve needed that reminder recently, more than ever.

The last couple of weeks were hard on me mentally. The kind of hard that doesn’t always make sense on paper, but you feel it in your body. In your thoughts. In your energy. In the way you wake up tired, even after sleep. The kind of heaviness that makes you want to retreat, isolate, and question everything.

I felt fragile. I felt overloaded. I felt like my system was asking for something I didn’t quite know how to give.

But somewhere in the middle of the struggle, I recognized the truth: I didn’t need to push harder. I needed to care for myself more deeply. So, I did something that might seem simple, but was actually a form of courage. I went to Florida to visit friends. And I let myself rest. Not perform. Not prove. Not pretend to be "fine." Just… rest. We ate well and often, sat in the sun, talked and laughed. I slowed down. I processed. I breathed. I sat with my emotions instead of trying to outrun them. I let the sunshine do what sunshine does. I let friendship do what friendship does. I let quiet moments soften what stress had tightened.

And I came home feeling something I haven’t felt in a while: restored.

Not magically healed. Not suddenly free of every worry. But restored enough to feel my own heartbeat again. Restored enough to remember that I’m still here. So, today, on the eve of Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking about how important it is to love yourself in real, tangible ways - not just with affirmations, but with actions.

Because self-love isn’t a bubble bath (although that can be healing as well).

Self-love is recognizing when your nervous system is in distress and choosing to respond with compassion instead of criticism. Self-love is canceling plans when your soul is depleted. Self-love is taking the trip. Self-love is eating better, not out of shame, but out of care. Self-love is saying no to drama, chaos, and emotional violence. Self-love is choosing peace. Self-love is admitting, “I’m not okay right now,” and still treating yourself with gentleness.

Sometimes we treat ourselves like we should be able to handle anything. Like we’re not allowed to break down. Like exhaustion is weakness. But I don’t believe that anymore. I believe breakdowns are often breakthroughs in disguise.

I believe your body tells the truth long before your mouth does. And I believe the most spiritual thing you can do at times is stop, listen, and nurture yourself back to center.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been feeling heavy lately, I want you to know something:

You are not failing. You are human. And maybe what you need isn’t another goal, another plan, another push.

Maybe what you need is permission. Permission to pause. Permission to rest. Permission to take care of yourself like someone you love. Because you are someone you love. And today - on a day that celebrates love - please don’t forget to include yourself in the story.

If your heart feels tired, do one small thing today that signals safety to your nervous system. Step outside. Drink water. Call someone who makes you feel seen. Turn off the noise. Sit in silence. Pray. Journal. Cry. Breathe.

And if all you can do today is survive… that counts too.

This is your reminder:

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to earn softness. You don’t have to earn love.

Start where you are. And come home to yourself.

With love, Me.